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Dołączył: 15 Lut 2011
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PostWysłany: Pią 9:33, 18 Lut 2011  

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Dołączył: 15 Gru 2010
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PostWysłany: Śro 5:47, 02 Mar 2011  

心不在焉时做过的最离谱的事!让你一次笑个够!
在水库里游完泳,直接把车后备箱打开,钥匙丢进去,然后关上后备箱……
后果是穿着三点式在野外足足等了一个半小时。
又一次煮饭,淘完米后直接把米倒进没放内锅的电饭煲中……
戴着眼镜洗脸,结果镜片上一片迷茫……
正盘算着给老爸打个电话,领导突然进来,于是对他说,“爸,材料找到了,给你!”
-_-!!!!
去好朋友家,聊天中,她爸回来,张嘴就叫“阿姨”。尴尬中,她妈又出现,张嘴又叫“叔叔”。然后开始极度怀疑自己的智商!
把钱捏手里,然后揉成一团,抓在手里,觉得很不舒服,扔了……
还有次最丢脸了,在集体宿舍里,洗脚的时候不知道在想啥,本来要脱袜子的,差点把裤子脱下来……
从讲台往座位走,一同学的脚伸到过道上,本来想说“请让下”,结果脱口而出的是“谢谢”!-_-#
有次上计算机课,我一边给男朋友发短信,一边很勇敢地大声对老师喊道:“老公!我的计算机开不了机!”
闹哄哄的教室瞬间安静了,5秒后全体爆笑。老师是个50多岁的小老头,推着眼镜瞪着我……。这个庐山瀑布汗呀!
早上扔垃圾,垃圾袋拿着挺顺手,没留神就上了公交车,足足坐了一小时,到了站下车才发现――垃圾袋还在手上,我带着绕了大半个城市……。结果扔到写字楼垃圾箱。
很小的时候,家里的灶还是烧煤的。妈妈煮好的米饭放在厨房,我拿个小铲子弄了一铲子煤,将盛着米饭的锅盖打开,把煤一下子都倒进去了……
上大学时候和一群朋友吃饭,想着下午的考试,心不在焉的。吃完了照例从包里拿纸巾出来擦嘴,无意识地擦了好久,突然发现朋友们都不说话了,全盯着我,这才发现自己拿着擦嘴的是一个卫生巾!朋友们可是有男有女啊!我当时真不想活了!是护舒宝的丝薄日用!不可理喻的时候,我还把外面粉色的包装给拆了!
我有一次早晨起来吃早点(饼和稀饭),边看新闻边吃。当时正好播的是我们那边发生的一起事故,我看得特别认真,顺手就把遥控器拿起来啃,还把遥控器套子啃下来一块,狂嚼了半天,吐出来一看差点没郁闷死。我一直想不明白我是怎么把它啃下来的!-_-#
有一次出去旅游,和女朋友一起去的。当时风景区人特多,我顺手就把女朋友的手拉起来说:“老婆,拉紧我。”然后,就感觉女友的手直往下松,我以为她不好意思,便使劲拽。后来她不走了,我回过头一看,才发现是一个男的!旁边还有一个女的怪异地看着我。我吓了一身的汗,干笑了几声,红着脸就溜了,郁闷死了。
说说一个同事闹出的事,那天同事一边用遥控器开空调,一边让我帮她倒杯水,两件事结合起来让我看到的场景非常诡异――只见她拿着遥控器对着我一按,嘴里说:“请你帮我倒杯水!”
我发誓绝不是角度误差,空调在相反的方向。
家里新买了微波炉,很兴奋地用它来做鱼。弄好时间,调好火候,十五分钟后激动地打开微波炉……晕!什么都没有,鱼还在桌上。郁闷地再次操作,时间到,没等打开微波炉就发现鱼仍然在桌上!于是,决定一个星期都不再吃鱼……
有一次,去买水果刀,拿着刀看了又看,然后想叫那个卖刀的找个东西让俺试一下刀快不快,结果俺脑子特短路地用刀割自己的大指头,血喷呀……我还高兴地说:“嗯,真快!”惊得那个卖刀的怎么都不收钱,非要送我此刀。一转身,那个痛呀……钻心!
有次削完苹果,长长的皮没有断,非常得意。顺手把苹果扔到垃圾桶里,拿着皮就往嘴里送!-_-!
上大学的时候,一边和女朋友通电话,一边准备去厕所。然后,走到图书馆走廊的那个垃圾桶,拉开拉链,就准备……
还好!还好!四周无人。
我在蛇口海关等车时,手里拿着5元钱,然后边往车站走边撕,撕成细细一条的往地上扔。看着车快到了,觉得手里还一小块东西呢,拿起来看究竟是啥东西,仔细一瞧,还有半个5字……郁闷哪!
有次在肯德基上卫生间,洗手时将水龙头拧了N圈也不见出水,旁边一个MM惊异地看着我,指着水龙头旁一个硕大的“按”字说:“人家这个是用按的!”
有次做菜前切好了葱姜蒜,然后做完菜以后发现砧板上一堆切好的葱姜蒜,不知道是干什么的,随手扔到垃圾箱里……
有次同学找我借钱,我去ATM机上取,ATM机吐张100元的,我直接拿过来就撕了,然后把回执单塞给我同学……
早上要送孩子上学,可起来晚了,为了抢时间,穿上衣服开着车就跑。一路上总觉得不对劲,回头一看,孩子不在车上,那个汗呀。赶紧回来,看见孩子还在家门口等着呢。
手机放办公桌上,被我当成鼠标移来移去,屏幕上的指针怎么都不动,没反应,我还以为鼠标坏了。
还有次,回家后把袜子脱下来丢在马桶里(洗衣机安放在马桶旁边)。
我前天煮泡面赤,刚把包装袋拆开,忽然想敲个鸡蛋进去,就去冰箱拿鸡蛋。一手拿鸡蛋,一手拿方便面的包装袋,走到垃圾桶旁边,我很利索地把鸡蛋给扔进去了,然后就拿着包装袋不知道该干嘛了……
我记得以前论坛上一个朋友,好像是过生日,男朋友给买了新手机,特开心。她坐在车里吃冷饮,三色杯冰淇淋吃完了,顺手把冷饮盒子扔到窗外,半天之后发现盒子还在手里,新买的手机不见了……
在菜场买肉,因为斤两问题和卖菜的吵了半天,结果胜利,得意洋洋的付钱走人,回家才发现,肉忘了拿了,怎么也没脸回去要。
当年大学的时候,去买水果,卖水果的大爷说,“香蕉便宜卖了啊,7毛钱1斤。”我走过去想都没想地说:“大爷,便宜一点行不?一块五买两斤吧!”大爷先是一愣,然后连声说好。我还买了三四斤,回学校的路上才想起来不对劲……想想就觉得丢人啊!
8年前用个笨重的菜刀削苹果,手酸了,刀掉了,然后本能地猛一伸手去接……那么重的菜刀哇!结果从那时起我就开始晕血了。
偶大学时还有次KB的经历:一次中午踢完足球,走进浴室洗澡(我们宿舍每层楼都有浴室的)。边洗边回忆场上的精彩镜头,洗毕,收拾东西,拿着沐浴液什么的,施施然向外走。走到过道上,觉得有什么东西不对了,低头,猛然看见……吓死!赶紧掉头冲回去,我居然一丝不挂的出来了!
我用的是台式计算机,一次一个客户带笔记本计算机来打印东西,我图方便就把笔记本计算机放在台式计算机前,然后按自己的键盘,没有反应,又动鼠标,也没反应。我对着客户说,你的笔记本计算机是坏的嘛……
过半天才反应过来,我按的是台式计算机的键盘,那个汗啊……
有次手里拿着香烟,突然要写东西,顺手就把点着的香烟夹在耳朵上了……
大学学习装配电视机,我一同学拿起电烙铁(已烧好)很潇洒地做拿毛笔状,沾沾松香,一边扭头对我们说“古人提笔尝墨”,一边将舌头舔了上去……
好像那一个星期那同学说话都是豁风的,哈哈,简直绝了。
一次和我老公去婆婆家里,老公一手拿着垃圾袋,一手拿着给他妈妈买的东西,然后屁颠屁颠地跑向垃圾桶……
过会儿回来了,手里垃圾袋还在,东西没了……
Many years ago there lived an Emperor who was so exceedingly fond of fine new clothes that he spent vast sums of money on dress. To him clothes meant more than anything else in the world. He took no interes
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