Dołączył: 12 Mar 2011
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|Wysłany: Pią 8:33, 13 Maj 2011
"What are the awful feelings?"
In our next session, Johnnie reported that, when Rosemary exploded as prophesied, he was proficient to stay present and caring about himself. He was able to say anything he wanted to say, including how heartbreaking her anger was for him. He felt much better and the conflict lasted a much shorter time than usual.
"I both get angry back, alternatively I get defensive, or I shut down. And I feel dreadful."
"And it seems to me that you cover these feelings up with your own anger, defensiveness, and restriction - is that right?"
"Yeah, I think that's right."
"What if you were apt be compassionate toward your own emotions of solitude and heartache? What if you were apt give yourself the caring namely you want from Rosemary? What whether, when you acquaint her your truth and she gets petulant prefer than cares almost you, you concern almost yourself, sending lots of gentleness, bounty, warmth, and knowing to yourself? Do you think that would aid you have the bravery to talk your truth?"
"Actually, that sounds good to me. I think I can do that. So what you are saying is that if I give myself the caring I need when Rosemary gets angry, then I tin speak my truth rather than linger depressed and ruminate about it."
How often do you detain the truth from someone important to you - your associate, friend,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], parent, baby, assistant - because you know he or she will get angry rather than care about you?
"I feel hurt that she doesn't care about how her behavior affects me. I feel melancholy and lonesome that we can't talk entities out with caring rather than with rage."
Yet, if you do speak up and something major to you doesn't care about your feelings, then how do you feel? If you are aware of your deeper feelings,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you will presumable feel some loneliness and heartache when someone is angry rather than caring about what is momentous to you.
How you do feel when you don't speak your truth about something that is important to you? It is likely that you feel reduced when you dont speak up for yourself. Not speaking up about someone that is important to you is a path of ignoring your own feelings and needs, and very likely will guide to depression.
"I feel favor I'm among a rock and a hard place," he said to me. "I don't understand what to do."
"Yes. If you know thatyou are going to be there for yourself rather than forsake yourself in the face of Rosemary's anger,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it makes it many easier to speak your truth. As long as you grant her anger to menace you into reserving calm, then you are allowing her anger to control you, which is not agreeable for you or for her. By choosing to be loving to yourself rather than shirking the conflict, you will feel many better, even now she explodes. Are you compliant to try this regarding the honor card?"
For sample, Johnnie consulted with me because his wife, Rosemary, had spent way also many ashore their credit card and had put Johnnie in a complicated monetary rank. Johnnie knew from past experience that if he said something about it to Rosemary, she would explode at him, which would feel awful to him. Yet, along not telling Rosemary about it, he was feeling depressed.
"Johnnie, what do you commonly do when Rosemary gets angry at you?"
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