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PostWysłany: Śro 10:04, 12 Sty 2011  

Underneath this raging sea of emotions and first reactions, you have a competent decision maker. You have excellent radar. You have what you need. Underneath your confusion [link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you have a resourceful self. You do have a way of coming to clarity.
When you’re frightened your mind tends to spin around and calculate a thousand scenarios all at once. You can’t imagine how you will ever navigate your way through this kaleidoscopic unknown. You may feel tired, hopeless, ill-equipped and burdened. You may feel as though you just wish you could go back to the way things were. You may feel terrified that you will make a bad decision. These are all normal feelings. But they’re feelings. They are not facts. They are just the first layer of reaction.
Let go of your old identity
It doesn’t matter how you would have chosen in the past. It doesn’t matter what someone of your stature would normally do. What do you want to
Just because you can’t see your choices, doesn’t mean they’re not there. Fear often puts up a shield that blocks out other information. But remember, change is the nature of life. The embryo leaves the womb to inherit this world. You left kindergarten to go on to first grade. Being in transition is a natural and vital part of existence. It’s up to you whether you will interpret it as a void or an adventure. All true growth originates in newness and confusion. That’s why the great philosopher Nietzche said, “It takes chaos to give birth to a rising star.”
Here is an example of this kind of agreement: “I will not judge the outcome of this situation. I am making the best decision I know how to make given the information I have. I will be honest with myself. I will be diligent in doing the best I can. ” And here’s a kicker clause you might add in: “I am willing to forgive myself if I have made a mistake. I am willing to be kind with myself if [link widoczny dla zalogowanych], later, I learn things that make me wish I’d chosen something else. I’m willing to grow from the situation and learn new things.”
Find a Next step, not a whole life
In times of change, most of us start asking “what should I do with my life?” That’s way too huge a question. You may need to ask “what do I do in this moment?” What do I feel energy to do? The best way to find your way through times of change is one moment at a time. You may think of it as following a path of breadcrumbs. You don’t need to find the whole loaf, wheel of cheese, and salad bar. You just need to find one crumb. Find the one thing that you feel like you could do right now. It’s okay if the one thing you want to do is take a nap. Each step leads to another. It also helps you to realize that you always have a direction in the moment.
While you’re “giving birth to a rising star,” these strategies can help you discover the next right step for you:
Make the decision to Support your Choices
It’s hard to make a good decision with a guillotine hanging over your head. You may be afraid of making the wrong choice or of missing something crucial in this situation. It helps if you create an emotionally safe space for yourself. That means you will commit to listening to yourself without criticism, judgment, or self-attack. Renowned psychologist Abram Maslow, said that “All creativity comes from safety.” Consider writing yourself an agreement or contract, saying that whatever you choose, you will stand behind.
Sometimes life feels like a tornado touched down on an ordinary day and left broken shards of everything you knew. Change is often sudden and all-encompassing. When a major shift comes into your life [link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you may feel vulnerable and frightened. But keep this in mind. When a lobster grows, it sheds it shell. It’s pink and raw in the in-between times But it’s about to grow into a stronger and greater expression of itself. So are you.
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